We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
