Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I am morally bankrupt
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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