you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
