How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
