He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
