I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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