; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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