Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
