so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
