i'm signing you up for texting rehab
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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