About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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