girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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