oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
