i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
