You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
