i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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