found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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