What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
