well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
