im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
