How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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