Jerry, you need to find god
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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