chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize