So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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