It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize