I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
