In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
