How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
