yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
