how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
