just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
