Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
