do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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