just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
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