I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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