You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
