In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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