Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize