I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
