Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
