she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We're too hungover to prance.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
