Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
