things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
