Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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