She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
