we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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