Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize