How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
