and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
only you would photoshop your dick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
