she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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