Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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