You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
