K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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