24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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