i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize