I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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