To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
