His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
