Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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