even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
