I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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