Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
