It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Someone signed my nipple.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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