My balls are so social today.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
