i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
