i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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